Happy Valentine's Day!

It's all about one-upsmanship, Valentine's Day...who can out-romance the other???

Our version is slightly more twisted....but infinitely more fun. At least for us. At any rate, it certainly challenges the traditional definition of "romance".

It all started this morning when we went to the Car Barn in Wheatley for breakfast. I told the server, whom we know, and indirectly the rest of the room, who we don't....that I had purposefully NOT shaved ALL week. That way I could give Jane the Valentine's "gift" of shaving my face. "It's all in the setup", I declared sagely.

Jane responded in line at the Superstore in Leamington, when the checkout lady gave her a free flower, the same carnation all female patrons were receiving just for shopping on Valentine's Day. Jane took the opportunity to declare aloud in a crowded grocery store, "well it's more than you got me, isn't it?".

Clearly it was ON.

I returned fire at the Eye on Video movie rental place....we had forgotten our frequent renter bonus card at home, so the girl offered us a new one, proposing that "now you EACH have one of your own!". I turned to Jane with a straight face and said, again VERY loudly...."That will be perfect, for when you want to rent porn when I'm out of town!". The employee thought it was pretty funny. The woman behind us, though, was apparently quite mortified. Advantage, Mike.

Next stop, M&M Meats. As we browsed through the frozen meats, Jane proudly proclaimed to the employee in a luckily otherwise empty store, "I get to pick out my own Valentine's dinner...isn't he sweet???".

Clearly the madness had to end. Not to be outdone, and to punctuate the afternoon's antics....I did what any sane man would do. I drove the car off the road and into a ditch....and when I say "car", of course I mean Jane's car. Don't get me wrong, I wisely chose one of the lesser ditches in this area, only 5-6' deep, rather than some of the 12-15' monsters we have around here. Yep. Nothing says loving like ditching the car.

In reality, we fell asleep to green grass last night and awoke this morning to a world of white. The backroads to Wheatley were a little on the icy side (in hindsight "glare" may best describe them), and narrow at the best of times. Some other romantic twit approached us and refused to yield any of the centre of the road, forcing me to broach the sketchy shoulder of Essex County Road 15...or at least where I thought it was under the fresh blanket of snow.

She roared on by, oblivious to our peril....and then we promptly caught an edge and started to spin. For awhile it was kinda fun, as we careened sideways down the road in a semi-controlled powerskid....even completely off the gas and with no hope of braking, we held on for a good 100m or so. Oh sure, I would have preferred the muddy corn field, but at that point the car was basically making all the decisions as to where it felt like going. Apparently it felt like going into the ditch.

No injuries, no damage, no harm, no foul! The car just kinda slid in quietly and "sat down" into the ditch. Thankfully my co-worker and resident farmer Martin lives nearby, and within about ten minutes after a cell call he showed up with his 4x4 and a tow strap and yanked us out. Car and passengers were entirely fine....and up one unforgettable Valentine's experience.

I am working on an alternate theory, and hear me out here - Cupid had been drinking, and while aiming his arrow of love at Jane with his beer-goggles on, he hit the front tire instead, prompting the violent death-spin that ensued. Of course, Cupid lawyered up right away....typical drunken cherub....

Sorry for the crappy pic, but the cell phone was all we had at hand. Good thing too. Thanks again, Martin.

Happy Valentine's Day!